User blog:ElekingGudon/Chapter 1: A Brave New World (Dialogue Proof Read/Corrections)
So this is the first of these proof reading blogs in which I read through sections of dialogue in certain scenes between characters to iron out any spelling or functional errors, cut any repeated words and make dialogue flow smother. To clarify, I re-read through the dialogue of the prologue chapter before doing Chapter 1 but I didn't see anything that needed any corrections or ironing. For a visual, I will underline any words, lines, sentences and punctuation that have been edited or added into this scripts. Any words that appear missing from the original dialogue have been cut. Anything that isn't dialogue/monologues such as a description or action between lines will present in brackets. And characters that are speaking in their heads will be presented in italics like in the story. Anything highliged as bold is meant to be me explaining anything I might have added. Opening Scene: Godzilla returns to the islands Rodan: Chief! Godzilla: Rodan, it’s good to see you. How have things been while I was gone? Rodan: Hehe, same old, same old. Anguirus’s been keeping things calm around here. Godzilla: Tell the others to meet me at the shore of the main island. We need to discuss these recent events. Rodan: Rightio Chief, I’ll let them know. Godzilla: Oh, and Rodan! (Rodan stops when he hears Godzilla) Godzilla: Tell the Shobijin to bring the Mothra Twins. Rodan: Chief? Godzilla: It’s okay Rodan, they’re ready. They’ve waited long enough to join us in this conflict. Rodan: You’re the boss. The Earth Defenders waiting for Godzilla Now this is just an idea for a possible scene before the meeting with Godzilla, it sort came to me as I was reading the chapter. The idea for this scene is that it gives the reader an idea of what each Kaiju's personality is like. It is sort meant to be similar to how we first see the other Fairy Tail mages in Episode 2 of the Fairy Tail anime. With this scene, its up to you if you want use it or add anything to it. Everyone had gotten Rodan’s message and they waited by the shore of the main island, everyone was there: Rodan, Anguirus, King Caesar, Gorosaurus, Manda, Varan, Baragon, Kumonga, Kamoebas and Zilla. The group waited for their leader to arrive at shore. Rodan: Come on, Chief. Where are you? Gorosaurus: You’re positive he said to meet him at the shore? Rodan: Pretty sure. Kumonga: Gees, why did this meeting have to happen now? I had skip breakfast and I’m so freaking hungry! Kamoebas: Would you concentrate! There are more pressing matters at hand than food. Kumonga: That’s the problem. When I hungry, I can’t concentrate. When I loose concertation, all I can think about is food. And then that makes me more hunger, which makes me lose focus and I think about food. Then I get hungrier, I lose focus and think about food. Then I get hungrier, loose focus and think about – GAH! I GOTTA EAT SOMETHING OR I’LL GO CRAZY-MPH! (Zilla shoves a handful of palms leaves and bushes into Kumonga mouth, getting him to shut up.) Zilla: Here, eat this and shut up! Kumonga spits out the leaves, disgusted by the plant food. Kumonga: Gah! Ew! Don’t give that salad, gross! What do I look like to you…an herbivore? Varan: No, but you look like you need to go on a diet. (The other Kaiju laugh at Varan’s joke. Kumonga is flabbergasted with anger.) Anguirus: Alright you guys! Settle down before Godzilla gets here. If he needed all of us to be here, then he’s probably got something serious in mind. King Caesar: Indeed. He might have finally discovered something on his recent mission. Hopefully something that could shade some light on our investigation. Baragon: Maybe this time we can finally see some action. I’ve been waiting for a chance bust some heads. Manda: He’s been gone for a while. I just hope he hasn’t been badly injured on this trip. Anguirus: Have faith in him Manda. When you’ve known Godzilla as long as I have, you learn just how hardy and persistent he can be. (The group soon saw Godzilla emerge from sea. He made his way onto the beach, where he saw his allies waiting.) The Meeting of the Earth Defenders Godzilla: Alright, thank you all for coming. I called all of you here because we need to discuss the matter of multiple Kaiju sightings across the globe. So far, many malice Kaiju have been resurfacing around the world in the last year. Some we already know and others that are new to us. All of whom claiming their leader has promised them conquest over Terra, in return for destroying the humans. Gorosaurus: Do we know who their leader is? Godzilla: No, all we know is that they won’t stop until the humans have been extinguished and we have been destroyed. Shobijin: Then we must do whatever we can to ensure that does not happen. (Mothra twins squeak) Shobijin: The twins agree. Godzilla: Good , because now you two will be joining use in battle. I understand you two wanted to do whatever to help, but I didn’t let you because I felt it wasn’t your time. But now, with everything that has been happening, I believe you are ready. Shobijin: The twins are grateful for your decision. Godzilla: Good. Then let us get ready for next Kaiju attack. Confrontation with the Earth Conquerors SpaceGodzilla: Hello brother. Been well? Godzilla: SpaceGodzilla… King Caesar: What are you doing here?! You aren’t welcome here! SpaceGodzilla: Oh, I’m sorry. I just wanted to see how my brother was handling himself. Godzilla: You know damn well we’re not related. SpaceGodzilla: Oh brother, must you say such cruel things. Godzilla: I’m not your brother, you bastard. SpaceGodzilla: Hmph! If only you knew brother. Anguirus: Enough toying with us! I say we show him who's boss around! Baragon: Yeah! There’s thirteen of us and only one of you! SpaceGodzilla: Who said anything about me coming alone? (The Earth Conquerors are revealed.) Varan: You had to say it. SpaceGodzilla: Behold Earth Defenders! I give you…the Earth Conquerors (Earth Conquerors Roar) Manda: Great Tanaka… Rodan: Another Kaiju faction?! Godzilla: What is the meaning of this SpaceGodzilla? SpaceGodzilla: Simple. You continue to protect the weaklings that infect this planet, when you and I know that they are the reason this world is so sick. I will eliminate every last one of those parasites and bring about a new age, an age where the Kaiju are the dominant species once again! Join us brother…and we can save the world together. Godzilla: No. SpaceGodzilla: So be it. Conquerors…ATTACK! Godzilla: Defenders…ATTACK! Grimoire Heart preparing the transport machine Hades: Welcome my friends. Today we achieve a feat that many believed could never been done. Using this device, we will open a gate to another universe to locate a superior power strong enough to destroy Fairy Tail and aid us in locating Zeref. Rustyrose: Tonight is the moment we make history and do what very few humans have achieved. Such a feeling sends shivers done my spine. Zancrow: Sounds like a blast to me! I can’t wait to see the fireworks! This is gonna be freaking awesome! Meredy: Master, such a feat has never been tested before. How can we know for certain it will actually succeed? Caprico: Meredy. It is not impossible for there to be other worlds. Remember that Celestial Wizards are able to use keys to summon spirits from the Celestial Spirit World. Meredy: Very well. Kain: Y-you sure it’ll w-work? W-what if it doesn’t, o-or worse? Azuma: I doubt that it is something we need to be concerned about, Kain. If our master is confident it will succeed, then we have nothing to worry over. Hades: Ultear, prepare the device. Ultear: Right away Master Hades. Hades: Now…bring us the power to crush our enemies and to grant us our dreams! Tear through the confines of time and space! Bring the Primordial Magic within our grasp! Kaiju are transported Side note: If you want to use the new scene I created, then Kumonga's line has been changed to Anguirus. If not, the it remains as being Kumonga's line. SpaceGodzilla: Could this be a human trick? No, it couldn’t be. There is too much energy coming from it. Still…this energy feels rather strange. Anguirus: Do you sense that? Godzilla nods and turns to the Shobijin. Godzilla: Do you? Shobijin: Yes, we are sensing a great deal of dark energy coming from that circle. Kamoebas: What’s wrong? Shobijin: This energy…its magic! Earth Defenders: WHAT?! (Both factions begin to get sucked up by the magic circle.) Zilla: What’s going on?! Rodan: I can’t fly out of this! Something’s got a hold of us! Gabara: Boss! What do we do?! SpaceGodzilla: BRACE FOR IMPACT! (Godzilla grabs the Mothra twins) Godzilla: Hold on! Category:Blog posts